Personal Note

A year ago, I tapped into a past life that was a game changer on the path to evolution as a soul.

The time is Ancient Egypt. I was a chief builder, commanding a dedicated team of 100 men, best ever team. I was under Thoth, working to build "secretive" cosmic library under the Sphinx. Our job was colossal. Overcoming huge hurdles, we did it. My team revered me so much and I honored their dedication to manifest the impossible. On the eve of job finished and before having time even to savor success, all members of my team were assassinated, no one spared. They were killed by the command of Thoth to preserve what was built as top secret. In total dismay and as if in a mental haze and outrage, I went to Thoth,  and bluntly asked him how he could do that. He talked about minimal price to pay for the benefit of humanity in the far future. Future generations are to discover the place and be enriched by its treasure of knowledge when the sky allows it, only then. At that minute, my disdain to Thoth grew like wild fire in dry forest. I was too loyal to my own circle and could not accept his justification.

It was a game changer in that specific life and later in my soul evolution path. I eventually fell in the trap of being disappointed by the Light Realm, as a whole, for whom I worked tediously for so many lifetimes. I did not accept "collateral damage" and felt as if I betrayed my team. I did not protect them; did not deduce the logical price of secrecy. I was disappointed in me too. I was too enthusiastic to manifest the impossible with my men, with whom I shared food, laughter and sweat.

The trap got bigger, from being disappointed with the Light Realm, to refusing to build anything of substantial meaning in many lifetimes afterward, to ultimately being a wild loner. Though my commitment to the Light Realm never wavered. I did not like it to have physical embodiment yet I served the Light through an extra confined angle I obliged on myself.

At the current time, in my life as Maya, after so much soul healing, I am no more disappointed in the Light Realm. My knowledge expanded to new horizons, among which, the truth that every death is a chosen suicide.

I am about to let go of the "wild loner" card too.

I am just happy to reach a lifetime of no secrecy, at last.