My high fever since 5 days obliges me to write ... breathing as I write is easier. One night, I hallucinated being lost and suffocating in Venice alleys. I have been all around the world in 5 days due to fever. But the most dramatic night was yesterday ... I even made an international call to my sister while gasping for air in between sobs due to aches , telling her "no funeral for me". Today, as if bruised and bones crumbled but much better: I did not claim death ... as usual ;). Went at dusk for a walk with total serenity as the wind messenger of autumn caressed my pale cheeks. It was a weird Luganese experience since I came here for my master degree. All about to end (Yet I am sure that weirdness is a characteristic sticking to my life). I will be relocating to Beirut mid September. Flying back and forth for my thesis & "basta", timeout till the new learning phase for I am eternally a student eager for knowledge. Love Beirut in autumn ... { Autumn, first rain/ the scent of my ancestors/ resurfacing} .
Thinking about what happened this year with the sweet and not sweet nonsense on web 2.0 with so many opinions drawing my shadow or shredding it, I came to realize what I knew always but needed to be highlighted: I converse much more fluently with white papers, statues, shade, reflections and nature. There is a missed link between me & humans. My narrow path is full of light and colors. I refuse the highways. I invite few remarkable (according to my personal dictionary) persons along my path. And that is my abundance.
P.S: If you ever visit Ticino:
+ in spring, Lugano, go for a long, slow walk in parco ciani, wait till dusk to watch fishermen along swans with their movements emphasizing dusk ... distant memories and self tenderness.
+ in summer, go with the old train from Lugano to nearby village called Caslano ... drop a visit to the gelateria facing the lake and ask for "Tao Nero" ice cream from the clearest blue eyes vendor. As you sit by the lake linger on each lick observing all nature seeping within breathes into what makes you, you. Then gather your stamina and go around the mountain hiking (40 min) to re-emerge from the other side ready for another gelato. Go and sit under the murmuring trees to sip espresso along their intimate chat. On the way back to the old train, drink from the tiny church spring.
+ in autumn, visit Bellinzona and its castles. Standing on the edge of the main castle wall fence, contemplate the richness of leaves colors in surrounding mountains with ripples of castles. Smile. (Catch me on your lips) ...
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